I offered this weekend to help Bri paint the attic room where he lays his head at night. It was one of the most challenging spaces I have ever had to paint. There was wall repair that had to be done. we had to decide which walls were to be purple and which green. Bri did lengthy research into just which colors he wanted there. At first I was a little leary of the choices, although I really loved the "Kimono Violet" that he chose, as I am quite fond of purple as he is. He wanted a stimulating space for his mind as he continues his studies, and a calming peaceful place. Well, we all know why that is important .... :-) I have a before and after. We accepted the challenge and we won!!
I miss you ol journal. As I sit here and write, I am forever mindful of this. I come back to you this new year. I am coming back to many of the habits I had been forming when I met Bri. We have kind of gotten out of some of them together. We spoke of getting back to them as we rocked out to the techno beats and stroked back and forth for like 21 hours this weekend.......
The after......
The before.....
Bri's beautiful photogenic face..... <3
- Mood:wilted yet successful
I look back over the last 4 months and I feel joyful at the events that have taken place in my life! Today especially, I feel a sense of satisfaction that has been absent in my life for many years. I feel as though my efforts have been rewarded. As I looked to the Universe for guidance, I have now learned that what is best for me is all I have to ask for. I have asked for that and I have received just that. Not that it hasnt come with growing pains as it has. I know now the value of believing that it can happen. I balieve in the powers of our own abilities of manifestation.
I am living it! I feel it! I cherish it! I Feel grateful for it!
My job, my new relationship, my home, my ability to surround myself with positivity, my ever growing love and compassion for me......
I open my heart with honesty, I lift my heart to the sky, my shoulders back in confidence, my 3rd eye extended to receive the white light of connection to the Universal Forces that govern all that is.......
I feel thankful today! Thankful on many levels for many things.
My family is such a supportive extension of my life. My parents are awesome.
My job creates for me a place to learn what it is to blossom into a confident, responsible, business professional
My new relationship with Bri teaches me what it feels like to have someone in my life to bring out the best in me for the first time in SO many ways.......
My friends are true and I feel an extension of the energy that I manifest around me... I have attracted the most compassionate and caring humans into my circle.....
Again I say, I am thankful!
Bri and his Daughter
And Bri....
- Mood:very thankful roday!
I am getting ready to go to Avalon this weekend for Samhain. I miss spending time with my extended family. Bri' is studying this weekend as he does most weekends, so I am going to head to SC to honor this time of the thinning of the veil.......
- Mood:
hopeful
May I trust? Shall I trust...... I must trust for I have seen with my own eyes the power of manifestation working in my own life when I truly live in the moment with love, compassion and the strength to absolutely let go of my defenses that build up that wall.......
October 27, 2008
Enjoying the Ride
The Flow of the Universe
The flow of the universe moves through everything. It’s in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away, the sprouting of a summer flower born from a seed planted in the spring, the growth cycle that every human being goes through, and the current that takes us down our life’s paths. When we move with the flow, rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.
Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It’s just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Tapping into the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It’s just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or dragging your feet.
Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything that you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.
- Mood: calm
Looked around this morning to find shots of the renovation of my office room. I had a few shots to tell the story...
Had these shelves that had to be ripped off the wall and then the wall mudded and smoothed out.....
ugly blue walls.....the border at the top was of men fishing...... yikes!!
I have had blue tape on the trim since 2004... (((( embarassed ))))
finally chose the color before mom and dad came so dad could help me paint!
and voila...... pretty damn smart!
- Mood:
creative
Picture Meme:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing (except resizing, duh).
Post these instructions with your picture.
teeheeeee...... dare I post...... will you love me anyway? I thought so!
- Mood:I really gotta get in the bed!
This is absolutely beautiful.. I am really proud. I worked really hard today, getting up at 7:30AM to move all the stuff out of this room. I cannot believe how much stuff is stuffed in the corners.....This wood floor really makes a difference. Now I have a REAL office.....
Heh, wonder if I can deduct it on my taxes..
- Mood:
sleepy
but the best ones
seem to fall into place right from the start,
naturally and easily,
as if they were
always meant to be.
- Mood:waking up
For now, I am working from home learning to use a plate washer and reader for my trip to Memphis in a couple of weeks. I am kind of busy the rest of the day and this weekend too. I am bursting with thoughts about all that has happened to me over the last 3 weeks. I desire to write them down but just dont have time right now.
I do want to use this space to start a little collection of new music as my new friend suggests it to me. His selections of music are quite ethnic, peaceful, flowing and really make me feel dreamy and satisfied......
colonial cousins:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG9Sbg_g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49rRK8sl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4bzvBbM
Fela Kuti:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7LzN8fv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMJzL0yi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQXpmzTX
cheb khaled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIyyPsqR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpClWx_2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVIJdh6W
- Mood: calm
Here is the office after painting by dad and I. It ROCKS! I think I am going to have a wood floor put in it soon! I am most happy with how it turned out! Can you even imagine a beautiful wood floor in this room? I thought so!
- Mood: creative
Fun times at the Land Trust on Sat night. I believe that something is happening in my life that I am beginning to become a bit excited about! teehee...... I am just enjoying this ride and letting things unfold as they will. Another gift from the Universe? I think it might be.......
- Mood: creative
Enduring Discomfort
Missing Our Old Habits
Whenever we make the effort to free ourselves of an addiction or a habit we no longer need, we are often surprised to find ourselves missing the old pattern as we would a familiar friend. This sounds counterintuitive, because we think we should instinctively gravitate toward that which is good for us. And yet, it makes a lot of sense when you consider that we humans are creatures of habit. This is why we gravitate to people and places—and patterns of behavior--that make us feel comfortable. Therefore, many of the habits we form are not conscious and are based instead on learned behavior from role models who were not always making the healthiest decisions.
Most addictions begin as a way of avoiding feelings that are extremely uncomfortable, so it makes sense that stopping the addiction means, for a time, a fair amount of discomfort. The same, of course, is true of habits that we have developed over time that we are ready to release. Just knowing that this is hard, and having compassion for ourselves as we work through this process, can help us to stay the course when we feel the urge to backtrack. It’s also helpful to remember that in time we will establish new, healthier patterns, and the yearning for the old ones will disappear. Eventually, we will instinctively reach for things that are good for us, and the longing for positive change may form the basis of a new habit.
The only way to get to this new place is to endure a time of difficulty, which is a challenge we can confidently handle, if we remember that it will lead to the change we seek in our lives. Our bodies, hearts, and minds always need time to adjust to a new way of doing things, but they will adapt, and even become our allies, if we remain true to our vision of a new way.
- Mood: reentry to the mundane
Sweet as candy.....
*giggle*
- Mood: silly
Tomorrow is another day to have a really fun time with my folks who I really love from deep within my soul.
- Mood:I am feeling, just feeling
It is amazing that when I again stop to think about how I have acted in my life and how what I think I want is not really what is best for my spirit, messages start coming into my life as I am receptive to receive them that continue to teach me. There have been several messages that have been coming into my life lately , words, tell tale pictures, little epiphanies, that have taught me more and more about the truth of this matter of the heart that I have allowed myself to participate in. The truth unfolds before me. The truth unfolds with nary a peep of a word from the other side. I am in some sense dissapointed at what I have found out, what I have learned. I am just dissapointed at the nature of humans sometimes, our lower vibrational desires and how they color our world with possibilities, possibilities for coy, demure acts of deception.........
I wonder, I just wonder, these matters of the heart.
When will I ever learn? Teach me! I desire to learn..........
August 20, 2008
Being Clear About Desires
Getting What We Want
The best way to get what we want from life is to first know what we want. If we haven’t taken the time to really understand and identify what would truly make us happy, we won’t be able to ask for it from those around us or from the universe. We may not even be able to recognize it once it arrives. Once we are clear about what we want, we can communicate it to those around us. When we can be honest about who we are and what we want, there is no need to demand, be rude or aggressive, or manipulate others that are involved in helping us get what we want. Instead, we know that we are transmitting a signal on the right frequency to bring all that we desire into our experience.
As the world evolves, humanity is learning to work from the heart. We may have been taught that the way to get what we want is to follow certain rules, play particular games, or even engage in acts that use less than our highest integrity. The only rules we need to apply are those of intention and connection. In terms of energy, we can see that it takes a lot of energy to keep up a false front or act in a way that is counter to our true nature, but much less energy is expended when we can just be and enjoy connections that energize us in return. Then our energy can be directed toward living the life we want right now.
Society has certain expectations of behavior and the roles each of us should play, but as spiritual beings we are not bound by these superficial structures unless we choose to accept them. Instead, we can listen to our hearts and follow what we know to be true and meaningful for us. In doing so, we will find others who have chosen the same path. It can be easy to get caught up in following goals that appear to be what we want, but when we pursue the underlying value, we are certain to stay on our right path and continue to feed our soul.
- Mood:
thoughtful
Woohooooo....
I get to go to New Orleans the week of September 8th to work!
I have never been!
Look out Bourbon Street..... Rhonda's coming to visit!
- Mood: hopeful
Dartmouth College is very beautiful.
I wish I would have been able to stop along the way on my journey back to Manchester to the airport to take a few shots of the countryside....
My Goddess, It is the Summerlands.....
- Mood:Insomnia plaguing me
I guess the last 2 weeks at home is the type of thing that makes it ok that sometimes I have to go through this. It is so much more than sometimes though. The last 3 or 4 flights that I have taken, there has been something that happens to delay it.
Oh yeah, life goes on!
- Mood:
frustrated
Scorpio:
The Scorpio Female is an unwinding mystery, sometimes even to herself. She is strong yet soft, kind, compassionate, intuitive, alluring and shy. She can rise to any challenge, claim victory without rubbing it in, and love so deeply that it scares herself. Sexually, there are no boundaries, no limits to the games she'll play (sex is power!) but she's very selective with the few that can experience her feminine wiles. She is attracted to a partner who is intelligent as well as wise, attractive and enigmatic. While the Scorpio female can be quite possessive, she prefers that her freedoms be unrestrained. The person who falls for Ms. Scorpio's embrace will never be the same. Once you know the rules, you understand it is her game.
- Mood: hopeful
YAY!
I was considering just not going. I did not know if I would be able to face the situation there. The truth as it has evolved from beginning to the end is out and it is obvious to me now more than ever what the truth coming back in my direction really is.....I have been trying to talk, write and feel myself to the other side of the ache I feel in my heart.
I will allow this new friendship, well developing friendship really, to be what it is for now. I had an honest conversation last night with him and we agree on alot of different angles of this whole thing. The totally rockin awesome kewl thing about it is though is that we talked...... Oh Goddess what a blessing it is that we just had an adult conversation about the point we are at in our lives....It flowed, it was easy, I felt heard and I listened.
I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine yesterday. She and I have been close for years. I love her. She reminded me of the fact that as good as something feels in the moment, it is truly just that. I open my heart for that which is the best for my soul.....I deserve what it best for me..
I am not going to settle for less!
- Mood:more grounded, accepting
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indigoluna- In Search of the Holy Grail
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